Randolf Ambrose

I remember I spent about RM 200 to change the transmission oil the last time I service my car (routine). Luckily this time I pay less than RM 10. I thought of sending the car early so that it can be ready by 1pm so that I can cross the Penang bridge to Penang island. Unfortunately by the time I got my car back, it's already 3.15pm. It's quite late for me to go to the island because I will be caught in the massive Friday jam, fighting with those who work in island to come back to the mainland.

There was a delay in the car service. Half way walking to claim my car one technician came and say he forgot to inform about the problem with the car battery. I am still happy with the delay of the car service because they change the car battery and it is FOC (still under warranty ma) else I guess I have to pay another RM 200 again. Now the car is back to its top condition :)

I hang around in Auto City with a biz fren that afternoon and had a stress free tea time. While waiting for my sis to meet me for dinner, I head to one boutique nearby. I tried 2 dress, which the sales girl try her best to alter the oversize dress and keep on pushing me to buy the dress immediately. That really pissed me off and I quickly tell that I'm in a rush I have to go. I will never go to that boutique again.

Nvm with the unhappy incident. I am still in good mood. hehe.... I later joined my sis to have Korean food dinner. Recently went with a fren to try a Korean food restaurant in SP and the comment on the food is not so nice but acceptable. This one I went with my sis is one of the big chain in Malaysia so I thought I can taste the real nice Korean food. The outcome was very disappointing. Every food is very super salty!!!! The spicy kimchi soup taste is killed by the saltiness. It's definitely highly NOT recommended for people with health problems especially those with high blood pressure. Disappointing..... disappointing.......

Spem in alium numquam habui praeter in te
Deus Israel
qui irasceris
et propitius eris
et omnia peccata hominum in tribulatione dimittis
Domine Deus
Creator coeli et terrae
respice humilitatem nostram

"Doggytales" - http://faxythai.blogspot.com/

i use the ambrosian calendar, not the gregorian one. tons of free converters are available on the web...

VIRGO
the Liar
(april 13 - may 12)
you must stop being so dessicated.
you should beware of papaya juice.
the next few months will be blind.

CAPRICIOUS
(may 13 - june 12 [northern hemisphere])
this week you will feel very quiet.
you should finally admit to your
cravings for hair transplants.
the next few months will be honeyed.

ROACHIO
the Creepy-Crawly
(may 13 - june 12 [southern hemisphere])
this week you will feel very funny.
take up a new hobby - perhaps inversion.
the next few months will be decorative.

DIANA
(june 13 - july 12)
Polaris is entering your constellation.
you may feel unusually post-feminist.
concentrate on what's really important to you:
dog collars.
a round crocodile will change your fortunes.

AQUARIUS
the Lubricant
(july 13 - aug 12)
this week Saturn is on your side, so
you may feel unusually necessary.
you should go back to your first love:
sushi.

OMINOUS
(aug 13 - sept 12)
a space monkey is rising, so
you should beware of finger puppets.
a boy will change your life.

LIBRIUM
the Antidepressant
(sept 13 - oct 12)
this week as a comet enters your sign,
you must resist the temptation to be voracious.
you should beware of slide shows.
a luminescent body piercing will enter your life.

RADDICHIO
the Salad-Leaf
(oct 13 - nov 12)
this week as Polaris rises,
it's your turn to be the vegan one.
stop wasting money on blackmail.
a lost riddle is within your reach.

LUKAS
the Performer
(nov 13 - dec 12)
as Jupiter rises,
you will not be feeling your usual nocturnal self.
you should beware of cargo cults.
a cloven minstrel will change your life.

CANCER
the Illness
(dec 13 - jan 12)
this week you can afford to be bewitched.
you should finally admit to your
cravings for nail-biting.
a muse will amuse you.

AQUARIUS
(jan 13 - feb 12)
Neptune is in your sign, so
you will be feeling very controlled.
concentrate on what's really important to you:
sulking.
your lucky colour is ruby.
PASSION RATING: (1/5)

BENEDICTION
(feb 13 - march 12)
Your style is so impeccable right now that few are likely to have issues with its content. You are beginning to love something that at one time caused you great fear. This could lead to a strong, long-lasting relationship. Speak your mind while you still have the opportunity to do so.

VIDEO
(march 13 - april 12)
as Fluff rises,
you will be more stormy than usual.
stop wasting your life on ecology.
look for a lonely ghost.

two fresh steaming globs of weird audio, mmm.

"fable 2 where are you?" is a peter molyneux pop song. geek-chic is so now. here remastered in a german dungeon hardcore jazz club... http://www.icompositions.com/music/song.php?sid=86517

and a visit to the zoo. http://www.icompositions.com/music/song.php?sid=86574

hey kids!

if you should find yourself at a loose end one rainy afternoon, see what you can make out of this conundrum:

12345
12345
1234567
12345

1234567
12345
12341234
12345

12345
12345
1234567
12345

127235
12345
127327
1
1

12345
12345
1234567
12345

8
8
8448
1

you may use any method to arrive at a solution that can be expressed as an mp3 file up to five earth minutes in length. answers will be plugged here, *must* be released freely for anyone to share, remix or sample, and if the ball gets rolling we can release an album at the end. i'd like it if you mark your piece as a collab when you upload and include a link back here.

send your answer to ralf@randolfambrose.com
good luck!

first track: das boot [wolfswald]

second track: a minor

third track: b flat [poopiepoops]

fourth track: c sharp minor [bob the devastator ate]

fifth track: d is for daddy

sixth track: e=2dammhott

seventh track, f sharp:


eighth track: asterisks
mmmm. ****. [droolz]

ninth track: adipose incorporated

tenth track: [explicit lyrics] - popsicle

eleventh track: what am i? [bunyip]

finally,

track thirteen: zen

and the hidden bonus track: 4 horsies
http://www.icompositions.com/music/song.php?sid=86003

peace :p

free download: dififficult.zip [zip archive, 78mb]

01. introduction[minimi]
02. stalker
03. OW! [feat. A BEAUTIFUL, MYSTERIOUS STRANGER]
04. sausages
05. stammer
06. warp
07. sirius
08. travel
09. 0333
10. jesuslovesyou
11. firedance
12. insomnia [feat. Ziur]
13. polo
14. names
15. gambits [feat. Jesse Osmun]
16. fya [feat. Lapskin]
17. mostbeautiful
18. churchsong [with Professor Herrmann of Munich]
19. space

made on a mac with garageband, livecut and the support of the icompositions.com community.

share and enjoy :p

for best results, disconnect the speakers and attach the wires from the amp directly to your balls.

stump******

home-burned, a drawing of a green imperfect heart, distributed privately. i'll even throw in some cover art.

1. counting sheep with uncle andi
2. sock
3. yehyehyeh
4. daniel [cleanmix]
5. fibonacci
6. 18*
7. threesome
8. poltergeist*
9. piper
10. gospel
11. undead*
12. greysleeves
13. january
14. thefamouspolka
15. sock+survivalism [vox&lyrics by trent reznor/NIN]
16. wolves

* these songs also have original music videos, on youtube here [rated pg]

tip-jar: paypal to ralf@randolfambrose.com

messing with breakbeats led me to a visual equivalent, so yesterday was largely spent programming.

these are free quartz composition screensavers that will only run on an apple mac with recent osx & an isight camera - like an imac.

download timeslicer.zip [12k]

unzip & install to your home/library/screensavers/ folder.

the zip file contains two versions: one has a morphing rotating cuboid with video on it to pull victims in, the other doesn't. the main action goes like this: a four-layered kaleidoscope of horizontally and vertically time-distorted image captures which will mess up your face real bad.

the imaging technique is also known as "slit-scan" and you can learn more about it here.

there is a single signed print of this picture available, 3,000 euros.

i've been playing with poser again, and a very versatile model called apollo. here are three desktop pictures:

windows, mac and unix

some of you know that for the last few years i've been touring the world giving demonstrations to private audiences of professional magicians.

highlights have included "badly fooling" eugene ****** and jeff *******, and this week, confusing the hell out of a london group including the vp of the magic circle, jack ******.

jack, seen briefly at the end of this clip, gave me some lessons when i was a teen so it a pleasurable honour to return the favour and a miracle to see him walking without his zimmer frame.

show notes:

the first 2 minutes are missing. you join us as my mute assistant lucian [initially hidden from view behind the shiny box] is being punished for eating lipstick.

the sound throughout is unbalanced and vocals too quiet.

from this angle you can't see that when lucian emerges from the box, he has a card drawn on his chest - guess what with? reincorporation rocks.

quicktime movie, 23mb/14mins

there need be no conflict. we will all simply wake up one day, knowing that the war is over.

when it comes time to pay for his beer or whatever, the practitioner produces from a back pocket and unfolds a crudely forged banknote. it is the right size and shape but clearly homemade with crayon, possibly by a child or disturbed adult. it is offered politely with a blinking smile and deep eye contact.

if necessary, the practioner seems to remember where he is and folds up the banknote at fingertips, blows on it, and unfolds what now seems to be a perfectly genuine one.

"instant" variation: the practitioner reaches into his pocket for money and proffers a small fan of dead leaves. when the client's eyes raise to make "are you serious?" contact and then lower, the hand is now seen to be holding nothing but a normal banknote, leaving them to wonder what the hell they just experienced.

[the simplest method that came to me for this is fake leaves held together at one end by a rivet so they can be fanned, attached to a crude elastic pull up the left sleeve.]

i am wondering about a version where your initial offer is a handful of four different polished semiprecious gemstones [tumblestones]. many contemporary magicians already use these as hand-outs because people easily accept them as "charged" objects. the get-out switch, to coins, is what bothers me as i cannot see a one-handed solution - it seems to need some form of hand-to-hand dump to effect the change. the *point* though is i am pretty sure one could get a good hit rate of clerks selecting and accepting one or more of the stones as payment...

made for the cover of ian's book, with blender.

You were born in a different world and have spent every moment navigating, leaping and questing, to arrive, once again, here.

The world you started in may be very far-off and forgotten, deserted. It may be still vibrant, popular and close.

But this world right here, this macrocosm assembled from dubious technology and a deranged mind, it's an odd place you've chosen to visit.

Be welcome. Feel comfortable.

You know how to think things through for yourself. You know how to do research.

Maybe you even know how to take a hint.

Not everything is censored or sanitized. Life will always find a way.

Seeds break through concrete.

[Seeds break through concrete...]

By visiting the fringes, even glimpsing their weird horizons, you gain power and belief in Things Being potentially Different. A world where everyone has clean drinking water. A world of predominant love and peace.

That's all it takes, ideas played out over Time.

Always bet on the underdog. Otherwise you may as well go back to work on Monday.

[Go back to work on Monday.]

[Go back to work on Monday...]